CAST OF CHARACTERS:

The ICC:

A group of uniquely demented morons who run the game at an international level. They have still not been able to decide when a game is actually over. (The Darrel Hair episode in a test match and the joint Fiasco in the world cup final). Once they are able to finalize this important guideline, they will perhaps devote their time to other less pressing issues like deciding whether the world cup was a success or not and whether the Asian Boards need to be put in their place.

The BCCI:

A group of men who are elected to the office of the richest sports body in the land without having either an iota of administrative sense or any passion for the game. Their sole motto to enrich the coffers through a mixture of TV rights/ticket sales and sponsorships. Where all the money goes, nobody actually knows and none have the right to ask because they are an autonomous body whatever that means. What it does give them is bargaining clout with the ICC because they claim that they account for 70% of the money the game makes world-wide

The Selectors:

A group of men some of whom have played the game at the highest level and others who are there to make up the numbers. They hold office at the pleasure of the Board and meet before every major tour on an honorary basis to decide who will represent the country. Decisions are on a majority vote.

The Sponsors

They come in two categories. The first group gives hefty sums of money to the BCCI or the ICC, in the name of team sponsorships for the national team and earns the right to stick their names and logos on the shirts, pants, pads bat etc of the players. It may be noted that TEAM INDIA is perhaps the only international cricket team where the name of the sponsor overshadows the name of the country on the jersey. In addition the team sponsors can also shoot commercials with the players. The players however are not paid by the sponsors who pay either the BCCI or the ICC and keep them dangling for dates in true filmy style.

The other sponsor is the player’s individual sponsors and comprises companies who could not afford or those who missed out the team sponsorships and enter into contracts with the players or their agents. Some of these companies have products which are in direct competition with those of the team sponsor

The Coach

He inherited a fairly good team under a strong leader. At the time Team India was thought of as the only team which could challenge Australia. Greg’s job was to build a team to win in 2007. He had differences with Sourav and after his much rift with him, a new leadership took over. After some initial hiccups and lots of politicking, things finally began to look up. 17 one day wins on the trot. Youngsters like Yuvraj and Dhoni put their hands up. The team flattered to deceive. Gradually things started to go wrong. Losses to West Indies and SA. The youngsters did not deliver. Under public pressure the selectors scripted Sourav's return to the team and wonder of wonders he actually managed to score some runs to the embarassment of his detractors. To add to the problems caused by Sourav's return, there were rumours that Sachin wanted the captaincy. The cracks were beginning to widen. Austraian methods were not quite working. The conflicts were too many for the coach and captain to handle and the writing was on the wall but the blue billion did not quite see it.

The Players

A group of immensely talented individuals who failed to gel as team. It is tragic that such a group of men could not for one month rise above their differences and play the sport to their potential. Win or Lose is an integral part of the game but we did not see an effort. By the time the tragedy of exit begin to sink in it was too late.

The Former Players:

Men who have played the game at highest level and know what it is all about. They are now put to pasture and return through chat shows, syndicated columns and TV contracts to comment on the game they once played. They are summoned on an ado basis by the BCCI to stick band-aid on the gaping wounds suffered by Indian Cricket after every major debacle. The treatment of the malaise bugging the administration of the game is strictly off limits.

The Media:

A group of TRP hogging maniacs who try to squeeze every drop of TRP out of every possible story whether real or imaginary. After finishing the effects of sponsorship on performance and highlighting the huge fissures in the team, spreading a whisper campaign against Sourav and his time in the middle contract, they switched to focusing on the Indian Flag on Mandira's saree and launching Sting campaigns on selectors to improve their flagging TRPs.

The Groundsmen:

The men in charge of preparing the grounds and pitches in the country. Wiser men say that the pitches are key to producing good cricket and good cricketers. Unfortunately, most of the Indian groundsmen are glorified "Maalis" with little knowledge and no formal training on the art and science of pitch making.

The Ranji Players

They are the source for future talent. They play to empty stadia on dead pitches against sub-standard opposition and are expected to make the cut to international cricket with little or no support from either a sponsor or the BCCI until they are actually good enough to make the grade.

And Finally the Fans

They rival the worst in European football. They catapult themselves with the team fortunes from the delirious heights of the rare victories to the despairingly regular depths of defeat. In a country of one billion desperately starved of icons they worship their cricketing heroes and are brutally critical and violent when the Gods fail badly. When they win they are worshipped and when they lose their houses are stoned, they are greeted with rotten eggs and tomatoes and garlanded with Chappals.

With this motley group of specimens being the key stakeholders of the game, one is not at all surprised at the levels of under-achievement Indian Cricket has been able to consistently deliver.